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The Simpsons-O-Rama
The Simpsons-O-Rama
The Simpsons-O-Rama

Here is a complete list of all the prank calls that have been made in the show. Visit the Moe Sounds page to download some of them!

Prank calls to Moe's Tavern:

Phone call for Al...Al Coholic...is there an Al Coholic here?
Wait a minute... Listen, you little yellow-bellied rat jackass, if I ever find out who you are, I'm gonna kill you!
(in Some Enchanted Evening [7G01])

Oliver Clothesoff! Call for Oliver Clothesoff!
Marge picks up the phone...
Listen, you lousy bum, if I ever get a hold of you, I swear I'll cut your belly open!
(in Some Enchanted Evening [7G01])

Uh, is I.P. Freely here? Hey, everybody, I.P. Freely!
Wait a minute... Listen to me you lousy bum. When I get a hold of you, you're dead. I swear I'm gonna slice your heart in half!
(in Homer's Odyssey [7G03])

Uh, Jacques Strap! Hey guys, I'm looking for a Jacques Strap!
Oh, wait a minute...Jacques Strap It's you isn't it ya cowardly little runt? When I get a hold of you, I'm gonna gut you like a fish and drink your blood!
(in Moaning Lisa [7G06])

Hey, is there a Butz here? Seymour Butz? Hey, everybody, I wanna Seymour Butz!
Oh, wait a minute... Listen, you little scum-sucking pus-bucket! When I get my hands on you, I'm gonna put out your eyeballs with a corkscrew!
(in One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Blue Fish [7F11])

Uh, Homer Sexual? Aw, come on, come on, one of you guys has gotta be Homer Sexual!
Homer: "Don't look at me!"
Oh, no... You rotten little punk! If I ever get a hold of you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off!
Skinner, on the other end of the line: "You'll do what, young man?"
(in Principal Charming [7F15])

Mike Rotch! Mike Rotch! Hey, has anybody seen Mike Rotch lately?
Listen to me, you little puke. One of these days, I'm going to catch you, and I'm going to carve my name on your back with an ice pick!
(in Blood Feud [7F22])

Uh, hey, everybody! I'm a stupid moron with an ugly face and big butt and my butt smells and I like to kiss my own butt
Oh, wait a minute...
(in Treehouse of Horror II [8F02])

Uh, Hugh Jass? Oh, somebody check the men's room for a Hugh Jass! There is a Hugh Jass at Moe's and he takes the call
(in Flaming Moe's [8F08])

Bea O'Problem! Bea O'Problem! Come on, guys, do I have a Bea O'Problem here?
Barney: "You sure do!"
Oh...it's you, isn't it? Listen, you. When I get a hold of you, I'm going to use your head for a bucket and paint my house with your brains!
(in Burns Verkaufen der Kraftwerk [8F09])

Uh, Amanda Huggenkiss? Hey, I'm looking for Amanda Huggenkiss! Ah, why can't I find Amanda Huggenkiss?
Barney: "Maybe your standards are too high!"
You little S.O.B.! Why, when I find out who you are, I'm going to shove a sausage down your throat and stick starving dogs in your butt!
Bart tells Moe his name is Jimbo Jones and gives his own address: Jimbo and Laura Powers are making out in Bart's living room
(in New Kid on the Block [9F06])

Ivana Tinkle? Ivana Tankle? All right, everybody, put down your glasses, Ivana Tinkle!
(in New Kid on the Block [9F06])

Note: This isn't at Moe's; Moe is taking over as the substitute teacher for Mrs. Krabappel's class during the strike
OK, when I call your name, uh, you say "present" or "here". Er, no, say "present". Ahem, Anita Bath?
The students laugh
All right, settle down. Anita Bath here?
More laughs
All right, fine, fine. Maya Buttreeks!
Still more laughs
Hey, what are you laughing at? What? Oh, oh, I get it, I get it. It's my big ears, isn't it, kids? Isn't it? Well, children, I can't help that!
Moe runs out of the classroom crying as Bart crosses Moe's name off of a list of what are now former substitute teachers
(in The PTA Disbands [2F19])

Mr. Burns: "I'm looking for a Mr. Smithers, first name Wayland"
Oh, so, you're looking for a Mr. Smithers, eh? First name Wayland, is it? Listen to me, you; when I catch you, I'm gonna pull out your eyes and stick 'em down your pants, so you can watch me kick the crap outta you, okay? Then I'm gonna use your tongue to paint my boat! (in Homer the Smithers [3F14])

Homer: Hello, I'd like to speak with a Mr. Snotball, first name Eura
Moe: Eura Snotball?
Homer: What? How dare you! If I find out who this is, I'll staple a flag to your butt and mail you to Iran!
(in Bart on the Road [3F17])

Other Prank Calls:

Homer: Hello Dean? You're a stupid head!
Dean: Homer, is that you?
Homer: Aaahh! (hangs up)
(in ? [?])

Homer: Well, I'll always have my prank calls.
(dialing number)
Hello, old lady from Titanic? You stink! (laughs)
(In ? [?])

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